Private Post #1

I admit that I am confused, even if I feel like I am managing well.

There's so much going on that I haven't written and I hope under the guise of "private" blogging I can be more open with myself.

Sunday at work was a long, hellish day. Jeff texted me to ask if I wanted to "play". He found a 'couple' that wanted to 'swing' and was curious if I would do it with him. I told him I was in a horrible mood but I would meet them with him.

Truth be told, I couldn't even imagine wanting to. It's not that I wouldn't. I never have, but I am curious about it and in the right situation I might try...but this wasn't the night for it.

I met Jeff and Rachel and Pete at The Parrot. As soon as I walked in, I wanted to punch him. He was very sweet with his "Hey baby!"'s and rubbing my tired and stiff shoulders. Very showy for the couple. She was frumpy, short and heavy set and looked like a white trash version of my former sister-in-law and he was a short, stupid, wide-eyed redneck. They weren't 'ugly' but they had zero class and were nowhere near my 'type'.

We chatted over drinks and I began to surreptitiously poke fun at them...

Jeff got it and was nearly hysterical laughing but trying not to let on that he 'got it' and they were oblivious. At one point Pete mentioned he'd 'accidentally' stabbed a guy "18 times".

Me: "18 times? Accidentally???"

Pete: "Yep. Self defense"

Me: "18 times? One - oops! Two - oops! Three - oops! - - - Seriously?"

Pete: "Yep! Self defense"

Me" "You've been on 'Cops', haven't you?"

Rachel (laughing): "Naaaah! The closest we ever got to being on Cops was..."

Me: "Please don't finish that sentence...it's perfect the way it is...."

Jeff: uncontrollaby laughing

moments later - noticing a VERY haggard homeless man who kept offering us vodka from a paper bag (I swear this happened)

Rachel: Pete, he reminds me of your dad

Me: Are you serious?

Needless to say, we left.

Pete began to hit on me before we left. Telling me how beautiful I was and how perfect my chest was. I thought Jeff liked this until much later I found out that he didn't like it at all.

We went back to Jeff's place and had sexual olympics again.

I don't know how to even begin to describe our last two encounters. Wow...

Every position, multiple orgasms for us both, anal sex that rocked my world. Oral, anal, top, bottom, rough, tender, dirty talk - everything...amazing. Hours and hours....

I tried to leave several times and he kept pulling me back. He seemed to want to cuddle. Cuddling led to more sex. I kept whispering "You have to let me go". Part of me meant 'go home' and part of me meant just what I said. Release me. Let go of your hold on me.

I think on some level he heard me.

I didn't get home until almost 6 am. I was exhausted.

He called me first thing. He told me I had "many ways of making him smile" and then said he felt like we were "back together" and reminded me we weren't exclusive. I was confused as to where all of this came from. Later he explained. The idea of me sleeping with 'Pete' had pissed him off. He actually used the words "I realized I have to let you go to let you do what you want".

Ahhh. Jeff has feelings.

Jeff doesn't deal with feelings well. I know he loves me, but if that realization creeps into his head he gets squirrly on me. As he is now. He's signed up for Yahoo Personals (to replace me, I am sure)

Perfect example - here are the emails we exchanged yesterday:

From Jeff:

"You make me smile in many ways...although right now I am feeling a little rough :)

Sorry to hear you got lost, how did you do that?

Sounds like you are working every night this week so maybe we can talk about business Wed after your dinner.

Hope I made your night better :)"

I responded:

"I’m feeling rough myself.

I have no idea how I got lost. I guess I was tired and still a bit buzzed.

You did make my night better. Not so sure about my morning. Somehow, as usual, you manage to make me smile and scowl at the same time. It irritated me to realize I was second choice for company!!! LOL. A major blow to the ego!

Sorry it didn’t work out again with the couple. I still think you should think about contacting Mike and Liz for Sunday night. If you didn’t have the boys, I would suggest we look into Trapeze. I have no idea if they serve margaritas, but my guess is we could stop before we got there for them. You can check out the website after work and tell me what you think - http://www.trapezeclub.com/trapnew/home.htm. Sat & Sun are couples only nights. Thurs is meet & greet night for new and current members.

In thinking about it, I wondered if I was being “too picky”. I still think we are both upscale people and no matter how curious I am about the lifestyle – if we try this for the first time with a couple that doesn’t really send me it could also end up being the “last” time. You know? That first experience is going to be important and I think a comfort level and attraction are important. If something goes wrong that first time, I’m not sure I’d stick with it. I need to feel safe, comfortable and secure. I’m not really looking to just observe you fucking other women. You can do that without me and I’m better than that. Even with an attractive couple I may need help to relax with them. It may be that we start out by going to Trapeze ourselves and at first we may just be fooling around with each other until the right person/people come along at the right moment. I think if I am already relaxed and turned on then I’m probably going to be easier to take that leap…I know I’m comfortable with you (and you know what I can be like if I am comfortable!) so I still feel like you are an important part of the equation…

I do have standards. They apply to any man (or woman or couple). I suppose that I think highly enough of myself and I am secure enough in myself not to be quite so willing to lower them, you know"

He responded:

"I can't go on AFF during the day, why dont you see if you can contact them and set up Sun night.

I was thinking through the whole selection process and I think we are making progress on what we want. I agree that we are significantly above average on looks and brains in this segment of the population, I hope I am proven wrong at some point...lol. But seriously, I agree that the club scene may make the most sense because even if we see or speak with someone that doesn't want to be with us, we can kind of determine a type. I think I was just looking for people local to start with and even though we didnt go through with either of them, I think it gave us a great deal of insite.

As far as being second choice, I think we both know where we stand with each other.

I agree that we need to respect each other and I think we are good on that. I guess I am looking at it as does the woman have to be better looking than you and the man better looking than me for us to be willing to go to the next level and I am not convinced the answer isn't yes...lol. But time will tell, the next question will be does either of us have an issue when we get to that point, honestly I have to be careful not to be too protective of you and let you do what you want to do and I will work on that to find the balance.

Bottom line, neither of us needs to lower our standards to make something happen, if it happens it will happen when the time is right, until then we experiment and repeat last night over and over...lol"

I responded:

"You said some things today that raise issues that we need to talk about and I am glad you did.

Did something happen to get too close or to scare you last night? Was it something that I did?

I know you say that we know where we stand, but I guess I am not entirely sure that it’s true and want to make sure it doesn’t create a problem on several levels. I’m upfront about my feelings – you know I have them, I just keep them compartmentalized. I can’t be in a relationship with you or anyone – at least not right now. I have learned to never say “never”, but I don’t see any changes on the horizon. I like my life. When I am with you, I enjoy you more because of the connection but when we are apart I am fine too. On the other hand, my presumption is that you have feelings of your own and aren’t sure how to define them or what they mean. You have serious intimacy issues and you tend to punish me when you feel too close to me. My hope is that you will come to see you can have feelings and not be ‘with’ me and it’s still ok. I really hope you find a way to make it ok in your own mind so we don’t have to go through our usual love/hate cycle but my fear is that you’re already questioning those same feelings and that you’re going to give me that old familiar ‘push from a moving car’ in the near future. I only want to find balance. I like to enjoy you in and out of bed (and WOW have the last few times been MIND BLOWING!!!!!!) and I have gotten really good at putting whatever I feel into the box marked “Jeff” and shutting the lid when we part. Sometimes I feel more than other times but I always enjoy our time together without regret or worry or jealousy. I know that we have always had a connection on a deeper level than either of us has ever been able to deal with well and I just hope that if you are coping with your own fears or feelings that you will find a way to balance it without feeling like you have to push, run or hide. I have no expectations of you and I think we’re “cool”. I know I tease you and tell you that I know you love me and that’s not really respectful of me and I am sorry for that.

I think this is probably the most important talk we can have. It will avoid drama if/when we are working together, swinging or dating. I’m not really sure what you were trying to tell me on the phone earlier. Did you get the impression I thought we were exclusive? Did I somehow lead you to believe I expected more of you? You said it felt like we were back together. Can you tell me what I did that bothered you? I tried to remember if I did or said anything but I couldn’t come up with it.

You are closer to me than a stranger in a club is going to be. To whatever degree we get involved with another couple, there will be certain things I don’t do with those men. I wouldn’t let them get rough with me or anything like that. There are things between you and I that are born from trust and comfort levels and I think we’re pretty much finding these days that we’re entirely comfortable there!!! (Sorry, flashback to last night just made me dizzy…wow!!!!!!!!!)

Hey – on a lighter note, it’s a HUGE relief we didn’t have sex like this when we lived together. We would have killed each other.

I’m not sure it’s all about looks. I don’t think it’s a great challenge to find a girl prettier than me – I’ve always known that my personality is what takes me from average to above average and I am comfortable with that. When I walk into a room, people don’t stop and stare but when I spend time with them they tend to find themselves attracted to me.

Anyway – let’s clarify what we can. I don’t want to find ourselves at odds over a misunderstanding now or later.

I wish I could say all of this better. I have a feeling I am still not getting it across."

From there I went to work. The NO SLEEP was killing me and I felt like hell. I was home by 10 and exhausted. The minute I signed online, he was there...

The conversation continued in IMs:

Session Start

Mon Jun 18 21:54:45 2007

[21:54] Jeff: are you there?

[21:55] christine: Yep

[21:55] Jeff: I sent you an email...she wants to meet us...not tonight..but I think she is cute and she is solo

[21:56] christine: My night was fine, how about yours? :)

[21:56] Jeff: laundry...poker...aff....lol

[21:56] Jeff: are you ok?

[21:57] christine: I think so

[21:57] christine: I've felt better

21:57] Jeff: I went through your comments on the hot list and deleted the nos

[21:58] Jeff: me too...I am dead but I have to stay awake until my laundry is done

[21:58] christine: Give me just a minute? brb Have to walk Dutch

[21:58] Jeff: ok...check out the pic when you get a chance

[22:10] christine: Ok, back

[22:10] Jeff: folding give me a sec

[22:14] Jeff: back

[22:15] christine: I can't see her profile. Can you tell me anything?

[22:15] Jeff: she is 34 bi and lives in Miami

[22:15] Jeff: looking for a couple

[22:15] Jeff: likes to be the 3rd

[22:15] christine What does that mean?

[22:16] Jeff: what part?

[22:16] christine: The 3rd?

[22:16] Jeff: me you and her

[22:17] Jeff: I mean she likes being with couples

[22:17] Jeff: do you think she is cute?

[22:17] christine: What's she into? Is she single or married? Personality? Did she see our pics? Any more specifics on what she wants? What did you talk about so far?

[22:17] christine: She's prettier than me, that's for sure

[22:17] Jeff: she has seen our pics

[22:17] Jeff: she thinks you are hot and she thinks I am cute

[22:18] christine: Ok, let me be more specific - lol

[22:18] Jeff: told her I needed your approval

[22:18] christine: Awww

[22:18] Jeff: I think that would be the respect part of our earlier conversation

[22:19] christine: She's gorgeous. Intimidatingly gorgeous. And you talked to her already. I just need my own comfort level too so I don't end up reading a book while you are fucking the hot chick and I'm dealing with insecurities, lol

[22:19] Jeff: lol she is at sandraxxxxx(edited)

[22:19] Jeff: on yahoo

[22:20] Jeff: I told her the first thing would be to meet for a drink and see if we click

[22:20] christine: I guess I didn't realize until I saw her picture that I might be more intimidated by fmf than by couples so I'm trying to find a way to approach it and maintain that comfort level

[22:20] christine: She's definitely hot

[22:20] christine: You sure you need me for this? LOL

[22:20] christine: What all did you talk about already?

[22:20] Jeff: yes, I want to play with you and her at the same time

[22:21] christine: Does yahoo allow a 3way chat?

[22:21] Jeff: just intial talk...where we live etc

[22:21] Jeff: yes

[22:21] christine: No sex talk to get a sense for what she likes?

[22:22] Jeff: not yet...told her we blew off a couple and had a 3 hour sexathon last night and she said she wished she was there...

[22:22] christine: lol

[22:22] christine: Is she on now?

[22:22] Jeff: she hasnt answered my last post to do a 3 way chat so if she does I will let you know

[22:23] Jeff: do you have conference as a button above?

[22:24] christine: Come back to this window until she answers

22:25] Jeff: ok

[22:25] Jeff: how was work?

[22:25] christine: It was ok. Just feeling really tired and headachey

[22:25] christine: Didn't eat all day

[22:26] Jeff: I ate all day...lol

[22:26] christine: Just feel icky. Sleep will be good today

[22:26] christine: Did you meet her in chat?

[22:26] Jeff: I have to get my laundry done...1 more hour

[22:26] Jeff: yes...

[22:27] Jeff: I was asking about Trapeze and was told to check out another place

Jeff: good to know pretty people swing too

[22:49] christine: But I am apparently going to need clothes

[22:49] Jeff: when do you need an excuse for that...lol

[22:50] christineslager: You're going to have a shopping trip with me in the near future!!! If there is one thing you should have learned by now it's that the fem in the couple is the bait[22:50] christine: So you're going to want to invest yourself and your sexual fantasies in me looking very, very pretty :)

[22:50] Jeff: lol

[22:51] Jeff: I have to get my back waxed, going to Stephanie's salon for free..lol

[22:51] christine: Now?

[22:51] Jeff: no..next week

[22:51] Jeff: her salon

[22:51] christine: How's that going?

[22:52] Jeff: seems to be going good..I talked to her tonight and she isnt clingy at all

[22:52] christineslager: Maybe you were hasty in ending it

22:53] Jeff: well she is looking for the normal relationship and you know I cant do that

[22:53] christine: So what are you going to do?

[22:53] Jeff: I am doing her a favor

[22:53] Jeff: do the once a week for a few weeks..say its not working and be done

22:53] christine: lol

[22:54] Jeff: its an exit stategy

[22:54] christine: Aha...lol

[22:54] christine: When's my expiration date? lol

[22:54] christine: Such a player

[22:54] Jeff: lol...my exit stategy with you was obviously fucked up

[22:54] Jeff: I guess death

[22:55] christine: Um...

[22:55] christine: mine or yours????

[22:55] christine: lol

[22:55] Jeff: lol..tbd

[22:55] Jeff: first one to go saves a place in hell for the other

[22:55] christine: Hmmm, serious question time. Do I need to have you using condoms with me? I don't want to get sick

[22:55] Jeff: I bet there are swinger clubs in hell

[22:56] christine: I'm sure, lol

[22:56] Jeff: I have only been with you and Stephanie...and I use condoms with her

[22:56] christine: You don't even have any!

[22:56] christine: Fibber

[22:56] Jeff: I do too

[22:56] Jeff: at her house

[22:56] Jeff: we dont have sex at my house

[22:57] christine: You know, if we swing you'd have to use them ESPECIALLY there

[22:57] Jeff: I know

[22:57] Jeff: thats the down side

[22:57] christine Yep

[22:57] Jeff: getting a long term couple would be good eventually ...lol

[22:57] christine: Yep

[22:58] Jeff: the person that can invent something better will be rich quick

[22:59] christine: Ok, so before my headache knocks me out and we both fall asleep, are you ready for a brief conversation on the dark side of all of this?

[22:59] Jeff: male supplied I mean...there is more shit than you can shake a stick at for women

[22:59] Jeff: sure

[22:59] Jeff: what let me check my laundry

[22:59] Jeff: wait

[23:05] christine: Ok

[23:06] christine: I pretty much like things the way they are. Not wanting that to change. I just want to make sure I don't become just the girl to fuck. I want to keep the friendship and be able to work together too.

[23:06] christine: It's not you, I wouldn't really want that with anyone

[23:06] christine: i don't feel like it's been that way, but I want to make sure it doesn't change

[23:07] Jeff: ok..that was going to be my question...

[23:07] christineslager: What?

[23:07] Jeff: do you feel it has been that way

[23:07] christine: No

[23:07] christine: We've hung out, talked about life outside bed, seen movies and been friends first in my opinion

[23:08] Jeff: I agree and even though it seems like it we dont have to have sex everytime we see each other

[23:08] christine: if you remove our history it's pretty much exactly what I'm up for

[23:08] christine: lol

[23:08] christine: I know. I have no worries about that.

[23:08] christine: I don't feel that way. I enjoy sex with you and I don't feel like we HAVE to but it sure is nice when we do, lol!

[23:09] Jeff: lol..did we really have 3 hours of sex last night?

[23:09] christine: That's no issue with me at all. I don't feel like it's expected

[23:09] christine: Hon, we had olympic sex twice in like 4 days

[23:09] christine: We outdid most porn

[23:09] Jeff: lol

[23:09] christine: I'm thinking it was only exhaustion and time that stopped us from fucking to death

[23:09] Jeff: lol

[23:10] christine: But seriously - WOW

[23:10] christine: We got good :)

[23:10] Jeff: I fell asleep by the time you went from reverse to drive in the dirveway

[23:10] christine: Clearly I did too since I ended up in the port

[23:10] Jeff: we definately know each other better

[23:11] christine: i think we actually get along better

[23:11] Jeff: and for some reason I think ...exactly

[23:11] christine: lol

[23:11] Jeff: going back to the :"if you dont expect too much from me I wont let you down

[23:12] Jeff: 11:11

[23:12] christine: lol

[23:12] christine: I was worried when you called this morning

[23:12] christine: You sounded scared, lol

[23:12] Jeff: I was worried you ran into a ditch or something

[23:12] christine: lol, no - I mean about the "It feels like we're together again" speech you laid on me

[23:13] Jeff: oh...I think I was just realizing that I have to let go more to feel good about you being with someone else

[23:14] christine: Well, that's why i think this is a good talk to have and even better in text

[23:14] Jeff: being the selfish one...I was only thinking of me and at some point last night or this morning I started thinking about you

[23:14] christine: The connection is always going to be there - that's clear. It's ok to care about each other and not be together like couples are

[23:15] christine: In a very twisted sense there are parts of us that always seem to (i don't know) belong? to each other. that's ok. We've been clear on everything

[23:15] christine: We'll just make sure we keep friendship first, respect and talk if we start to freak out before a misunderstanding happens

[23:16] Jeff: I think I was ok with you being with a girl but the thought of you being with a guy hit me

[23:16] christine: lol

[23:16] Jeff: especially that loser last night

[23:16] christine: Well, it would be the same for me to see you with a girl, but i think if we're doing it together it's different

[23:16] christine: lol

[23:16] christine: That actually speaks to one of my deepest darkest fears about you, lol

[23:17] Jeff: I was thinking you would be ulitmately the one to approve both, but last night I realized I had an opinion on what I thought you should do

[23:17] christine: And you have that

[23:17] christine: I GIVE you that right

[23:17] christine: We do it together

[23:17] Jeff: cool[23:18] Jeff: that was the getting your approval tonight...I thought that was respectful[23:18] christine: It was, and I appreciate it. We are definitely learning this together - I learned a few things too[23:18] christine: I learned that I tend to feel insecure when you find, meet and establish a connection before me because then I feel like I'm a 3rd wheel, lol[23:18] christine: I have to find my way of dealing with that because it's not anything wrong[23:19] Jeff: I dont feel like a third wheel with Sparky and whats her name...maybe that just comes with time[23:20] christine: I think I just want to be sure I never end up the "wing man" and that you find a hot girl you want to fuck but she won't do it without me and I become just a prop[23:21] Jeff: no I won't use you that way...[23:21] christine: lol, yes you would[23:21] christine: But I'd like to believe otherwise[23:21] christine: lol[23:21] Jeff: the sex we have is too good...[23:21] christine: It is pretty fucking amazing[23:21] christine: I feel like it should be documented or something - I mean....WOW[23:22] Jeff: lol[23:22] Jeff: I feel like I am in my 20s again[23:22] christine: It's sort of like this "aha" moment of Oooooh, so THAT'S how it's done[23:22] christine: I thought sex was good before but damn....[23:22] Jeff: it is pre-marriage sex...I mean pre being 28[23:23] christine: And I have no idea why things work with you the way that they do but somehow - you fit right, I trust you, I feel secure and comfortable with you - it just all fits and makes for this great experience[23:23] christine: Maybe that's why I am trying to be so careful not to upset a pretty great balance[23:23] Jeff: thats my magic...lol[23:23] christine: No, seriously - I mean SERIOUSLY[23:23] christine: lol[23:24] christine: Even the anal sex thing - never NEVER did anything for me and somehow you turn it into this unbelievable thing[23:24] christine: To the point that I start to beg for it[23:24] christine: lol[23:24] Jeff: see...the 20 something scene was have sex like that...get bored...dump the girl...she stalks me until I am an asshole [23:24] Jeff: repeat[23:24] christine: Yes. You got the asshole thing out of the way with me upfront. lol[23:25] Jeff: I know thats the great thing...[23:25] Jeff: there is no pressure to stay faithful and no preconceptions[23:25] christine: But I feel like I said or did something to scare you last night...?[23:26] Jeff: no I think it was the realizing that I had an opinion about you being with a guy and felt like you had the right to choose on your own and then thinking that I am asking you to choose both and then thinking I should put in my opinion[23:27] Jeff: hows that for a run-on sentence[23:28] christine: That was why you brought up wanting to make sure I wasn't thinking we were exclusive or that it felt like we were together again? lol - You confused me with that. I kept trying to think of where it came from.[23:28] Jeff: make sense now[23:28] Jeff: ?[23:29] Jeff: I am out of cigarettes because somebody took 6 instead of 3[23:29] christine: I know that you actively seek out women to date. I don't do that. I don't feel any need for it. I'm not anxious to get involved with someone and I feel like if and when someone comes along - then they come along and I deal with it then. [23:29] christine: Hmph, I hope she was worth it[23:29] christine: So i don't want you to worry that just because I am not trying to find someone means I am trying to keep a hold on you[23:30] christine: i just do it differently[23:30] Jeff: I stopped doing that...Stephanie is a lingering past problem but from here on I am up front...[23:30] christine: And that's really entirely your business and I'm not trying to pry[23:30] christine: I think when I tried to analyze it all that was what I came up with - that maybe you thought that the fact that I wasn't actively dating was an issue[23:30] Jeff: but I am still looking around...it may kill me but I could have sex every night I think[23:31] christine: Condoms....[23:31] Jeff: I know..[23:31] Jeff: I have to keep it in moderation...[23:31] christine: You haven't actually had to deal with me dating anyone either. [23:32] Jeff: nope you have been out with a few people but it didnt bother me[23:32] christine: I've dated casually and not really been open to more[23:32] christine: I'm still not but if the right person came along, I'm not about to say "never"[23:33] Jeff: I told you I expect that day to come[23:33] christine: It's not on the horizon at the moment[23:34] christine: Which is all that really matters right now[23:34] Jeff: lol...carpe dium[23:34] christine: Yep[23:34] christine: diem[23:34] christine: lol[23:34] Jeff: lol[23:34] christine: When it comes, it'll be scary because I will want to find a way to NOT lose my best friend over it too[23:34] Jeff: we can sneak around...lol[23:35] christine: (eye roll)[23:35] christine: Ok, I feel good that we're good[23:35] Jeff: finding a guy that understands our relationship and is not intimidated by it will be impressive[23:35] christine: lol[23:35] christine: Um...yeah[23:35] christine: Because OF COURSE that's what you do, right?[23:35] christine: lol[23:36] Jeff: lol[23:36] Jeff: hey when the day comes I will be happy for you[23:36] christine: Gee, Linda, Beth, Kim, Sally - I really like you and I'm thrilled to be your boyfriend so I hope you don't mind my best friend is my ex-fiancee and we still fuck[23:36] christine: That's ok, right??[23:36] christine: No you won't[23:37] christine: but we'll worry about problems when problems arise[23:37] Jeff: dont date sally's[23:37] Jeff: probably not Beths either[23:37] Jeff: Kim and Linda...probably[23:37] christine: Don't need your roster.[23:37] Jeff: lol[23:38] Jeff: hey...I could go with a day of the week theme.[23:38] christine: Excuse me????[23:38] Jeff: you know someone every Monday...[23:38] christine: (sigh)[23:38] christine: Ok....[23:38] Jeff: that would narrow it to 7[23:39] christine: Back to the lesson[23:39] christine: 7, really?[23:39] christine: Wow, good luck with that.[23:39] christine: I'll miss the fun![23:39] Jeff: yes there are 7 days in a week[23:39] christine: Do you remember one of the first things I told you when we FIRST hooked up?[23:39] Jeff: sure[23:39] christine: Right, lol[23:39] Jeff: lol[23:39] christine: The day I am just another chorus girl in your stable is the day you go your own way[23:40] Jeff: no seriously I cant have sex every night...[23:40] Jeff: I am too old for that shit[23:41] Jeff: so...one revolving and our deal?[23:41] christine: I'm worth more than that in every way[23:41] christine: lol[23:41] christine: I'm not going to limit you[23:41] Jeff: lol[23:41] christine: But if you think you are assigning me a day of the week then this is done[23:41] christine: lol[23:41] Jeff: lol[23:41] Jeff: you can pick any day...lmao[23:41] christine: Have a nice life :)[23:41] christine: lol[23:42] christine: Good luck finding a new best friend who gets you and has amazing sex with you and lets you fuck other women![23:42] Jeff: I do think we need to try to keep the going out to a routine though[23:42] christine: lol[23:42] Jeff: Sunday nights are bad...lol[23:43] christine: Every night is bad this way[23:43] christine: But hey - if there was a cool movie, concert or event...? [23:44] Jeff: I am going to be working 8-5 M and F at PartsBase, Noon-8 TWT at PartsBase, 8-Noon TWT at Jet Repair Anywhere[23:44] christine: I agree that it would be easier to have a preset day we knew that we could hang out - but how would it work and then you are just assigning me a day again[23:45] Jeff: managing 1 person overseeing 50 and administering all ads for PartsBase...[23:45] christine: A weekend night is ideal, but you have the kids[23:45] Jeff: I know and now the weekday night is going to have to be Mon or Fri so she is going to be pissed but she also is bitching about money and this should help[23:46] Jeff: got the business card changed ...7174 will be Jet Repair anywhere...add a 3rd phone to your belt[23:46] christine: off subject[23:46] Jeff: lol[23:47] Jeff: I need a smoke[23:47] christine: I can always coordinate my work nights (except Tuesdays) [23:47] christine: but you don't have a regular schedule either[23:48] Jeff: I will...when there are no demonstrations for JRA I can go out because I can get a litttle more sleep[23:48] Jeff: every other weekend will be back in August[23:48] christine: What if we left it up in the air but tried to coordinate every other Saturday since Brad always has Taylor overnight?[23:49] christine: Then however busy we get, we know we can hang out then and still sleep in on a Sunday. the rest we just wing like we usually do when we need to[23:49] christine: I don't know.[23:50] Jeff: thats my only weekend night so I would like to be able to do some other things sometimes I think but thats a good start[23:51] christine: Well, then we either don't hang out at all or it goes on like this which is exhausting[23:51] christine: lol[23:51] Jeff: lol[23:52] Jeff: I have 4 days per month to go out and sleep in [23:52] christine: I don't know what to tell you[23:52] Jeff: thats crazy...I need to get the JRA going smooth and then I can sleep in 5 days[23:53] christine: Ok, before I hit bed - are we still thinking we're meeting up Weds to talk business?[23:53] Jeff: yep fo sho[23:53] christine: oy[23:53] christine: I need sleep. Have a good night, homey[23:53] Jeff: lol..peace outSession Close (Jeff): Mon Jun 18 23:53:59 2007 Session Start (christine:Jeff): Mon Jun 18 23:54:06 2007[23:54] christine: Oh....[23:54] christine: btw[23:54] christine: (Link: http://www.swingersdateclub.com)www.swingersdateclub.com/ - we may want to check it out[23:54] christine: Like AFF but swingers only[23:54] christine: I hate that term, btw[23:54] Jeff: what is aff[23:54] christine: ???[23:54] Jeff: I thought it was swingers[23:55] christine: It's everything.[23:55] christine: SDC looks free[23:55] christine: Havent' looked too much yet[23:55] christine: It was linked to Miami Velvet[23:55] Jeff: I am sure they charge [23:55] Jeff: ok you want me to sign up[23:55] christine: Not yet, let me explore it[23:55] Jeff: I think there is a discount to Miami Velvet if you are a member[23:57] Jeff: hey are we full swap same room or full swap completely open...lol[23:57] christine: What do you think?[23:57] Jeff: I think same room at least at first[23:57] christine: hmmmm, hang on[23:58] Jeff: although I know you are a big girl and can take care of yourself so it doesnt matter[23:58] christine: That's a 180 from our talk earlier - be consistent[23:58] Jeff: and based on the options its the same as aff[23:59] Jeff: no once we have gotten to that point you have to make your own decisions on what you want to do...I can voice my opinion on the choice but the actions are your decision[00:00] christine: I'm going to start naming your mulitple personalities[00:00] Jeff: lol[00:00] Jeff: full swap is different from group or FMF[00:00] christine: I know[00:00] christine: I'm not sure about group[00:01] Jeff: that is your fantasy...MFFM[00:01] christine: That's full swap[00:01] Jeff: thats group[00:01] Jeff: full swap is one on one with the others partner[00:01] christine: No, group is FMMFMFMFMFMMFMFMFM[00:01] Jeff: lol[00:01] christine: full swap means FMFM - two couples[00:02] Jeff: or am I completely off the mark[00:02] christine: Yep[00:02] christine: I think full swap appeals because we both have each other with another person so it distributes the pressure, lol[00:02] Jeff: lol[00:02] christine: It could be FMF at one point, FF at another[00:02] christine: Just not MM[00:02] Jeff: ABSOLUTELY[00:03] christine: lol[00:03] christine: MFM[00:03] Jeff: eh[00:03] christine: It's a feel your way thing, I think[00:03] Jeff: never done the MFM thing[00:03] christine: MFM might be you fucking the F with her sucking the M[00:03] christine: While another F is there[00:03] Jeff: of course never done full swap either[00:03] christine: We won't LOOK for a single man, I mean[00:04] christine: He has to be part of a couple[00:04] Jeff: ok...thats cool...would you like that?[00:04] christine: lol[00:04] christine: Um....[00:05] christine: remember when I showed you my 'favorite' thing was using my vibrator while going down on you?[00:05] Jeff: lol...ok got it[00:05] christine: lol[00:05] christine: But it's strictly a feel our way thing, i think[00:05] christine: We'll figure it out[00:05] Jeff: fun learning...[00:05] christine: We'll just go slow. Neither of us wants to fuck it up and end it[00:06] Jeff: true[00:06] Jeff: but there is no shortage of supply...damn[00:06] christine: We'll just tread lightly and carefully. If you start to get carried away, remind yourself that you'll have a fine time replacing me in this scenario[00:06] Jeff: that is another thing I think I am surprised about...and making me feel like we can be more selective

[00:07] christine: So, when I sign on - say "Hi! How are you?" before you say "I found a girl I want to fuck, did you see her???"

[00:07] christine: lol

[00:07] Jeff: glad we are learning on the ugly people though

[00:07] Jeff: lol

[00:08] christine: I signed up for a user name, they email the pw - hasn't arrived yet. User name will be playtime4us no idea about pw[00:08] Jeff: I think its another aff

[00:08] christine: We'll see

[00:08] christine: Just keep cool about it. Let's make sure we do this right

[00:09] christine: Because it would suck if we botch it and can't do it

[00:09] Jeff: I will, I think tonights girl was better than the last 2

[00:09] Jeff: lol

[00:09] christine: Part of the swinger club rules emphasize reassuring your partner and respecting them

[00:09] christine: Watch that one, lol

[00:10] Jeff: lol...reassuring or respecting

[00:10] christine: BOTH

[00:10] Jeff: got the respect thing down I think..the reassuring thing I suck at

[00:10] christine: The day you make me feel like bait will be a bad day for us both

[00:11] Jeff: ok..not great at the respect thing but I am trying

[00:11] christine: You've done ok so far, just be careful

[00:11] Jeff: When I am talking to women for us I make sure they want you as much or more than me

[00:12] Jeff: if she is just looking for m then I dont include you...whether you want to know about it is up to you[

00:12] christine: That's a GREAT start

[00:13] christine: Almost

[00:13] christine: lol

[00:13] christine: Ok - enough. I don't care how good we fuck, I am going to sleep now

[00:13] christine: lol

[00:13] Jeff: lol.good night