It's hard

It's hard to get back in the habit of blogging. I almost didn't blog today, but I am trying to 'journal' more and it does seem to help somehow - so here I am.

Jeff left for his father's funeral today. I took him to the airport and came home and took a nap. Anxiety is high, but I am trying to be calm. I emailed the women in my group to see if any of them would like a girl's night out tomorrow.

Jeff sortof suggested he had plans for Valentine's Day and I was surprised. I asked if I should plan a meal and he said no, he had it covered.

I'll be honest, I don't actually believe him. We'll see. Knowing Jeff he will give it about 10 minutes of thought on Wednesday night (the night before) and will find no reservations available.

After my birthday debacle, I hate to admit that I am expecting the worst.

What I REALLY want for Valentine's Day is his love. He could tell me he loved me over a McDonald's Happy Meal and make me very happy...if I believed he meant it.

I'm worried about him out of town and trying to be brave about it.

I hope the women will go out tomorrow.

I'm sure I will blog more...