Wednesday
Jeff came over last night and it was nice.
Well, more than nice...
He hugged me and I honestly wished he could do it for hours. Days. Weeks. I have no idea what the reason is, but when he hugs me I just want to stay there forever. I have never felt that for anyone before. The smell, feel, touch - all of it just reaches me on the deepest level.
I love him.
I am in love with him.
Having said that....
I realize that doesn't mean we can or will work. I need to be loved back and if he isn't capable then I can never be happy with him. I am prepared for that. I am prepared to end our relationship for that.
Jeff and I have been together for so long that part of me is deeply disappointed that he isn't in touch with his feelings. I feel like he should know by now...
I want to be patient, but I have been patient for so long...I can not wait forever.
I hope he figures it out soon.
1 comment:
I have a question you may not know the answer to . . .
I know for me personally, that when I am happy, I don't write as much. My journals (and past blogs)are filled with angst and heartache. But there are huge gaps missing-the times when I was happy. It used to really bother an ex of mine who said "you will never remember the good times with me-only the bad". And while I disagreed with him at the time, I do notice how I have forgotten some of those great times I said I enver would and only have my journals to remind me of the bad.
That being said, you didn't write here for about 8 months and I am assuming it was because you were happy. The kind of happy where you don't need to write about anything, just live.
So, if that was the case. . .what happened? Can you pinpoint a day? Was there a moment when something happened that you said "I need to write about that" ? Is this even a correct analysis?
Just some burning questions I have for you. I love it that you are back. Technically, I don't know you, but I sure did miss you.
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