Drama Queen in Wonderland

Jeff was understanding about my email. I wonder if I wasn't a little disappointed in that.

My girl gathering last night was a lot of fun. We chatted and ate crap and drank and laughed. After the rest left, Jess hung out and we watched a movie together.

Jeff texted to make sure I was ok and left instructions for the girls to "take care of me".

I'm perplexed by this new game.

I know he's seeing someone, but he calls me often to talk. He emails me. Tonight he emailed me a picture of a cartoon woman cutting off a man's head that he titled "Christine in the Future".

He made plans to spend his 40th birthday with me next year. Well, technically the day after. He always says he never thinks he will live past 40, so I told him I'd rather see him the day after. The man who refuses to make plans with any girl more than a few days in advance is planning 419 days ahead with me.

He's more attentive now. He seems to really get into talking to me. He's always IMing or emailing or calling and he sounds happy to talk to me. He asks to see me sometimes (less since my email). He's...what???

In a very weird way, we're as close again as we were when we were together. Only with a pseudo-girlfriend in the mix and living apart and not sharing "I love yous"

The weird thing is - NOW I feel loved by him. Like letting him go is keeping him around.

I have no idea. I'm still keeping a distance between us.

When Jess and I commiserate, I feel just a bit sad. Jeff's a dead end for me. There is no future there. Still...he's there.

He keeps joking about us getting matching tattoos Emperor and Empress Evil, he calls us. He's...bonding.

It's very weird.

It makes me want a distraction more than ever.

I'm catching a late movie with the girls tonight. I work the rest of the weekend. I was also invited to hang out Sunday night.

I just need a sexy man to distract me. I'm watching my step. Maybe that's the game. Maybe he wants to see if he can make me fall in love again.

He'd be wrong. I may play, but I know this game...