The Deceivers

Brad may be the writer, but I have to admit that I have many times wished I could write a book. I have the story, the title and the tragic plot twists but whenever I have sat in front of a blank Microsoft Word page, I just go blank on how to even begin it.

MWCB's comments in my last post were somewhat on the mark. I have to disagree with his thinking Brad wants me and I don't want him. The truth is that he doesn't want me. He did once but he got over it. No matter how skilled a man might be at hiding his feelings, I can't imagine that some hint wouldn't slip through and Brad is like a brick wall that I have run up against. As for me wanting him, I have many times thought I do...or might...but because our relationship is probably the most important one in my life I have (for once in my life) tread lightly and wanted to be able to be sure about exactly what I felt before I voiced that to him and he has denied me any opportunity to find out. I think if I spent time with him alone, either that old chemistry would resurface and shine....or not. Without that time, it's irrelevant. It's a mystery I can't solve and it's too important to 'guess' at.

I would call my book The Deceivers and it would ultimately serve as a warning to anyone who loves.

My characters would include:

Brad, the steadfast but somewhat irresponsible writer who cherishes his family but loses himself in his own failures just long enough to turn to another woman through the safety of the internet...ultimately changing the dynamics of the family he loves. A tiny slip, an error in judgement, a small opening in his life to an outside predator and he becomes a deceiver.

Christine, the follow-your-heart dreamer who cherishes her family but has great frustration with Brad's lack of responsibility and motivation and is changed and hurt by his indiscretion to the point that she later loses her own heart to the interloper and becomes a deceiver herself.

Jeff. the professional con-artist sociopath who is lost in himself and sees Brad and Christine's marriage as a symbol of his own romantic failures and decides to destroy it and take it for his own - forgetting that he can never be the other half of a perfect match because of his own inner demons. One true partner does not a 'partnership' make. Jeff would be the master deceiver.

So far, the story only chronicles the lasting pain of decisions made for the wrong reasons and all three end up lost and alone.

I'd really like my story to have a happy ending, but I can't imagine introducing a 4th character to my story to give my heart to and find that elusive happy-ever-after ending - and the Hollywood twist to make every reader swoon would ultimately have to be Brad and Christine finding one another again and I just don't see that as being possible.

Still, maybe someday I will write it and create my own fictitious ending. The only problem is that it would be like reliving it all and would hurt so much.

But you have to admit...a work of fiction that links back to my blogs of the past 3 years would be interesting reading.

If only I knew how to write...

Right now, the blank Microsoft Word page just haunts me like an impending surgery that I am not sure I will survive.