Crash...

I am emotionally exhausted.

I can't even muster the energy to tell it all right now, but the long and short of it is that Jeff contacted me a number of times today and tried to push for a friendship. I suppose in that sense of coming back for me, my dreams did come true.

And, I guess that it got under my skin.

I responded and told him I didn't know - he hadn't really been a friend so far. I should have shut the door and I left it cracked.

Then I went to work.

I told one of my friends at work some news that I didn't want to give her, but felt like she had to know. She was VERY upset but I think it brought us closer because she knew I was being protective of her.

I got into a fight with a tempermental co-worker that I am always friends with. A guy named (of course) Jeff. He snapped at me and I fucking lost it. I said "I quit" and started crying.

Management refused to accept my resignation. My other co-workers surrounded me and tried to help. In the end, Jeff apologized with so much sincerity that I felt better and everyone kissed and made up. Chris, my 22 year old line cook/boy toy hugged me while I cried and offered to beat Jeff up. I had to talk him out of it. He was furious that I'd been spoken to the way Jeff did.

I don't know if my reactions were in proportion or if MY Jeff just got under my skin. Either way, I feel emotionally exhausted and drained.

But I couldn't help notice that when I fell this time - I had friends all around me. I was hugged by so many people it was a blur.

I noticed. I cherished. I feel like I fell apart today, but I also feel like I learned that when I stumble, I have people there to help me up again.

I also noticed that I keep forgetting to eat. I've had nothing for 25 hours now...

Must. Remember. To. Eat.