Good Morning!

It is a good morning. No specific reason - I just feel good!

I heard one of my favorite "pick me up" songs on the radio this morning and I was "chair-dancing" as I drove and singing at the top of my lungs...

I love the nightlife - I've got to boogie!

The urge to go disco dancing was strong in me. I forgot how much a song can make me feel great.

In my head I wanted to call my friends and plan a dance night. I wanted to dance, sing, boogie...

No feeling sad, no missing anyone, no regrets - I can honestly say that right now, I feel great!

There's no man in my life and I'm fine with it. I'm not looking.

I had thought about giving The Cop a second chance but I'm not so sure now. He's nice, but I don't think he's what I want.

I also googled "Kenny Chesney" and damned if The Cowboy that I was flirting it up with last week isn't his freaking identical twin. They look so much alike that I am tempted to think it WAS Kenny...except he paid with a credit card and I remember his first name being Gregory.

I'm all about just feeling good and learning to enjoy my life right now. I don't need anything other than the right frame of mind and I think I am getting better and better at that.

I'm excited at this turn. I'm not depressed for the first time in a LONG time and I feel strong and confident and happy. I'm afraid to say "I'm all better" for fear of being set back again - but I think (between you and me) that I just might be.

You-know-who isn't on my mind at all. I'm not missing him even a little bit.

I think there's a certain sense of irony in it all...I've been withering away and dying without his love and when I have the recurring dreams about him trying to come back to me (just what I was so sure I wanted!) - something in me just snapped and said HELL NO.

It's like some tiny part of me has been able to see how awful he is for me and how much I need to move on and that part of me finally broke free and overcame the rest of me.

Thank god for that dream.

I think I had another last night, but I can't be sure. I don't recall it right now, I just have a sense of it.

I know that my "recurring" dreams always come true and I hope this one is an exception. I don't want Jeff to want me back. It would be tough for me to deal with. Still, should that come to fruition - the answer is "no".

No amount of therapy, promises or chemistry can make up for his trainwreck of a life. There's no way he could ever make me happy and there's nothing but pain associated with him.

There's no anger now. Disappointment, yes, but no anger, no bitterness and no hard feelings. I do hope for the best for him and I do wish him well - but I don't even want to know how he's doing. I don't want to hear about his problems or his triumphs. I don't want to know anything at all.

I'm not sure where this all has come from, but I am grateful for it.

I think I might be turning a BIG corner.

I feel good.