Holding the Crown
I continue to hold the Drama Queen Crown...
I wish I had the time to explain all the drama over the past few days, but I have very little time until work...
So, lets see - Jeff met me at Hard Rock Thursday night when I went dancing with my friends, we had innocent friendly fun - and then slept together. Since then, he's maintaining contact with me. IMs, emails, texts - but all on this somewhat "cool" friend level.
Yes, I know. I think i am just as sick as he is. I enable him. I am co-dependent on him. I resist, but once he's in I let him ALL the way in.
I went to a party last night. Candy-Boy Chris (young cook) came. Followed me there. We talked until sunrise and I was BLOWN AWAY by his intelligence. We left, in texts admitted to crushes on each other and are supposed to "hang out" after work tonight.
I read tarot at the party. Made 4 people cry. When Jeff called this morning to ask if I had fun (jealous???) I told him that and he said "That's my girl..."
You deserve more details. I promise they will come.
If I sound like a mess, believe it or not - I'm not. Jeff's as close to me now as he will ever get to me. Chris - well, I don't know about this one...I knew there was 'something' about him and I am beginning to see what it is. If he were 10 years older, this boy would be mine. As it is...I don't quite know what to do about him... I think I'll be having a conversartion with him to that effect.
I'm good again. My dreams all seem to be coming true. Jeff came back in a way, Chris is beddable and I think I am feeling confident and strong enough to watch my step with all.
I'm certainly entertained.
2 comments:
"Spending time with him but detached" sounds awfully - and sadly - familiar. He's labeling you as his and that's fine with you? Seriously, re-read what you've written here, especially last month, and then tell us that the Jeff thing isn't an issue.
How would your daughter feel to know you're allowing him close to you again? Think of how she felt, hating him for the year you were together, so happy you were no longer together. How would she feel if you told her about the hanging out and sleeping with a man who helped make her life hell?
You can write me off as being a judgemental bitch, if you like, but I hope you take a hard and clear look at what you're doing. Just read your last few entries. Try making the difficult choice to do what's best, instead of relying on dream signs as an excuse to let him back in.
I would definitely not write you off as a judgemental bitch - your comment is anything but either of those things.
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