Still Beginning

95 Days, 10 Hours and 29 Minutes.

That's how long I will remain in exile. That's how long until I expect to accomplish my goal of getting my own apartment with Taylor.

95 Days, 10 Hours and 28 Minutes.

My sister spoke to the management at her restaurant and they are expecting me tomorrow. My sister seems to think it's a formality and I have the job. It'll be exhausting and I will be putting in 18 hour days at least 4 days a week. My goal is to earn an extra $300 a week.

I also plan to keep the job even after I move. If I keep it through the end of the year, I would have about $8,000 in savings. For emergencies. For a trip. For a hired assassin (I kid!!! Besides, Jeff told me it was $10,000 when he looked into it for his ex-wife. I thought he was joking, but now I wonder...after all, this is a man who laughed when he heard she had skin cancer.)

I expect to be exhausted. I expect to be strained to the limits. That's okay. It'll keep me from thinking about the past. It's going to be good in more ways than dollars. I just have to manage to keep Taylor balanced at the same time.

I close my eyes 40 times a day and envision it. A tiny little apartment. Little couch in the living room where I can curl up with my TIVO. Kitchen. A dining area where we can eat. My own closet. My own bedroom. Taylor's own room.

It'll be clean as a whistle. It'll smell pretty and feminine. It will be filled with things I chose without anyone's opinion getting in the way.

I hope it has a tile floor. I hope it has that "fresh paint" smell when I first move in. I hope it has lots of windows. I hope it's on the 2nd or 3rd floor so I can open the windows and let the breeze flow through. Or a 1st floor duplex with a little yard. Or a balcony...

I hope I can get it. I'm prepared to offer an additional month rent as an additional security deposit to make up for my credit and unverifiable rental history. I will have declared bankruptcy by then, so maybe it will help...

You can see where my head is.

My immediate goals:

1. Pay off the legal judgement against me.
2. File Bankruptcy
3. Get an Apartment
4. Somewhere in there lose the rest of the weight - which, frankly, on a tiny grocery budget and working 2 jobs should be easier!!!

95 Days, 10 Hours, 19 minutes.

I hope it's roomy. I hope it's in a good area. I hope it has a gym and a pool and a clubhouse.

I hope it has nice neighbors. Good schools.

I hope it comes quickly...

I hope I get the job tomorrow...