TGIF?

Well, I wanted to be busy and I am. Busy is good. The busier the better.

Last night, as a sort of 'last night of freedom before working 2 jobs' sets in, I took Taylor shopping with our Christmas gift cards and we got some great things at Macy's. Some of the outfits we got her were so stylish and cute and classy that I was nearly wiping tears from my eyes. The sales were awesome, so she ended up with about $300 worth of cute things for $125.

I had similar luck. I bought 3 cute shirts that would have been about $180 and I got them for $75 and tax. I was surprised that the large sizes were way too big and I am apparently now a medium.

During my orientation yesterday, the manager Mike was deeply apologetic when he presented me two new uniform shirts. They were out and all they had left were large. I assured him large was the right size and he looked at me strangely. When I tried them on, I am swimming in them! One is actually too big to even be worn and the other is a tad large but will suffice. I guess when the "mediums" come in I can trade up for a better fit.

After shopping, Taylor and I went to Ruby Tuesday's. I hadn't eaten all day and was thinking I would do some serious damage to the salad bar - but it was not to be. I had a cup of soup and HALF a plate of salad and was way too full to manage another bite.

She and I talked and a lot came out. I was stunned. First, she burst into tears over me working the two jobs. She does NOT want to be away from me for even a second. When we talked more, she really let loose...

She hates Jeff. And I mean hates him. My daughter has never hated anyone in her life and she hates him. She blames everything on him and she is just struggling right now. We talked for a long time and I hope I was able to comfort her somehow. Usually she loves to be with Brad but this time, she is really clinging to being only with me.

I talked to Brad about it later in the night. Hopefully with us all working together it will be easier. I'm really lucky he's on my team when it comes to parenting.

Moving is a major priority right now. I'm stressing over this because while money is no object, getting approved is a huge issue. Apartments have gotten VERY selective down here and it runs about $275 to apply so I can't just apply randomly. I really want a managed complex where problems are addressed promptly and my major requirements are CLEAN, QUIET, SAFE.

Lance continues to IM me and he's still quite sweet. He wanted me to go skydiving later this month and I had to decline. With my heart problems, it seems like a bad idea, don't you think? (No one asked YOU, Dawn).

The problem I mentioned still exists. I'm doing some research on my legal obligations and options. I'm unthrilled with some of the results.

I heard a cute Country-Western song that really made me think... The chorus goes:

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad?
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you

I started to think about Jeff as a father when I heard this song and I went from thinking it was cute to feeling my blood run ice-cold. I thought about what his children learn from him....Women are disposable, to be used and discarded in a brutal and nasty way (they watched him do it to his mother and to me and surely to the future victims). Money is there to steal. Me first. Women are there to fuck and leave.

It made me think about more than his sons, I can tell you that. It also solidified some thoughts I had in my own mind and answered some questions I had.

I start training tonight. It's going to be a 16 hour work day for me - the first of many to come.

I hope it goes well.