What Weekend?

The weekend came and went and I barely noticed. Working so much has been great for my mind. I'm having fun and next week will earn money.

I think I am about as over Jeff as I have ever been. I am thrilled to have had no contact with him and I'd like to keep it that way. I am angry and disgusted with what he did to me, but I have zero interest in seeing him or speaking to him and I would rather lose a limb than to be with him again. It's been nice to have him not be on my mind so much.

My voicemail had 3 messages from admirers. Steve-the-Hockey-Goalie asking if I was still alive and should he give up (I've ignored him), Roger saying hi, asking how I was and suggesting I call him if I feel like it (I didn't) and Lance saying more things to make me smile...

Lance had quite a day. He went skydiving with friends and there was a 'situation'. They meant to join up and link chutes and the girl got tangled and his chute collapsed. They struggled to free her midair and at 2,000 feet Lance cut his chute off to protect her and had to pull his reserve chute. They were all safe, but shaken. The end result was that Lance had to buy beers. Apparently the first time you have to pull your reserve chute, you owe your buddies a beer.

He left me a message at 7:45 saying he knew I was working but wanted to call. He said "Hey baby girl (awww). I just saw a shooting star and thought of you (awwwwww!) and I am roaring drunk right now and heading home. If you get time, I would love to talk to you (blah, blah, blah)"

Lance makes me smile. He seems to see and sense my walls and has intentions of scaling them or sneaking past. He wants to meet Taylor. He wants to talk to me every day (many times) and he is always such a pleasure to talk to. I'm going to have to be careful with this one.

A super (SUPER!!!!) hot guy sat in our section tonight (I'm training with my sister, so we work together) and we had a blast flirting with him, his father and his grandfather. He was movie-star hot and we were both drooling. When we offered dessert, the grandmother said they were going to a friends after dinner for banana cream pie and I joked that maybe I should go with them.

Hot guy: Ok! What time do you get off and I will come pick you up?

Me - I'm not sure, but it'll be late. You enjoy that pie without me, but come see me next time you're in town!

Weak, I know. I like flirting, but I tend to draw a line when the flirting turns to actual opportunity. I have to admit - he was a tasty looking thing. Damned sexy and a big tipper. I think I am going to love this job.

So...I am feeling great. Tired, sure. As I write this I would LOVE to be in my bed watching my TIVO, but I am sitting here typing while Brad and Taylor play playstation on my bed.

Actually...Brad's looking pretty cute too.

Hormones???

I lost 3 lbs in the past 3 days. I love this job. My new size 10 jeans are too baggy and I am about 5 lbs away from a size 8. I think the last size 8 I wore was in high school.

Let me tell you a little secret, blog...I'm happy. I'd like my own place but I am actually happy right now.

And I LOVE being unattached. Having 3 messages from guys plus a hot guy customer ask me out just keeps me smiling.

Lastly, as much as I know it's dangerous to my unattached state - I'm looking forward to seeing Lance again. I work every night this week (training then on my own!) but I have Friday and Saturday off. I may try to go out with Lance Saturday... For the first time, I'd really like to spend some time with a guy.

How this man is single is a mystery. He's a serious great catch and if I were emotionally available I would say he fits my checklist of 'Mr. Right' to a tee. But, knowing I am cold hearted these days makes me worry I might hurt him.

I hope that's not the case. I hate being cold hearted (thank you, Jeff) but I am determined to be honest and not make any promises to anyone. The idea of a "boyfriend" makes my stomach clench.

I feel like I am finally free. It's a damned fine feeling.