Touched

I've been so exhausted today. Once I napped and I dreamed.

The dream was a montage of scenes. In each, I vaguely recall being with a man - a different man in each scene but the theme was consistant.

He touched me.

Not sexually, though there was a sensuality to the touch. But simple touches. Once the small of my back. Once my waist.

I woke missing the feeling.

I suppose I do miss being touched.

I have a myspace page and I still have an old personals ad on yahoo. The picture on them both is the same as on this page. I get about 10 messages a day from men who say I am beautiful. Men who want to talk to me, despite my disclaimers about being closed off.

With so many men wanting to know me and me missing being touched - why do I feel so alone still?

In my dream, I welcomed the touches.

Was the fantasy that I was touched - or that I welcomed it?