Chatty Cathy...er - Christine

I'm feeling chatty today. Introspective. I'm not sure why, I just feel like gabbing here.

I don't feel like a long phone conversation punctuated with "Mmhmms" and pauses. I don't feel like talking aloud.

I like it here. Where my mind can speak uninterrupted. (As I write this, the damned phone rings...)

So...random thoughts ahead (promising to bore you to tears)

I wore a plain pair of black pants and a white tank top today. I caught a glimpse of the mirror not long ago and was surprised. I do see the difference in my body now. Sure, I need to seriously tone up and I still want to lose another 25 lbs, but it's amazing to realize that I am not "fat" or "chubby" or "heavy". When I brushed my teeth I also saw myself in the mirror in just a red bra and hey -!!! - I have a great rack!!! Ironically I have not lost any weight in the breasts.

I'm not sparkling today. I'm short on patience. Repeating addresses and names to my mentally retarded employees who are brilliant with the street smarts, but rock-stupid when it comes to reading and writing is wearing on me. Amazingly, these monkeys can still calculate their weekly paycheck to a penny on a percentage commission basis in 2 seconds flat while I am still fumbling with my calculator - so I suppose I have no room to speak. They also earn more than I do.

My realtor is annoying me. Yes, I am excited she is working to get me my house, but she calls me to talk to me about her kids, her plumbing, her other sales and she loves to chat. I just want to know when I can get the approval and when I can move. She'll be here in an hour to collect a $1400 check from me. Writing it might make me throw up.

I have exactly $3 spending money in my wallet. I have $40 in change in a bottle. I have $1750 in the bank. I have $220 in an envelope from my tips and a paycheck of $550 to pick up today. I work tonight and will probably walk with about $90. I will also get $100 in child support today. All I can tell you is that I track every damned penny in an Excel budget and I am to the penny for 3 months straight now... Those little "extras" like unexpected tolls, lunch money, etc come out my extra tips. I usually earn $5-$20 more than my "goal" so the extra money works out.

When I move, my highway tolls go away. I will save about $60 a month in tolls. I spend $10 a week commuting Taylor to school 30 minutes away.

I will also save a freaking fortune on gas. It costs $63.29 to fill my tank and it lasts me about 5 days. Once I move, I expect to make that last almost twice as long.

I thought about the business man from last night quite a lot. I googled him. I think he's an SVP (he paid with a corporate card). He was cute and intelligent and fun and you have to appreciate a man who takes his parents to dinner, pays and orders a bottle of wine. I know there was a connection there and even his mom seemed to be hinting at it. We were chatting about chocolate and the endorphins it releases like sex and he kidded that he was buying chocolate on the way home and mom piped in "Unless Christine is available?" - I left at that point. I'm just not that good of a flirt these days. I'm sure I blushed.

But I saved the cork from his bottle of wine. I'm not really sure why. I was a little disappointed that he didn't leave a phone number. I have this secret hope he'll pop in again tonight to find me and ask me out, but that's the romance novels and movies talking. I don't think I'll be seeing Mr. Nelson again - which is a shame because he was the first stranger I met that I felt a click with...and I could tell he felt it too. Still, that long distance romance thing would never work...

But hey, next time he's in town he could visit. :) And seriously - any man that can flirt with me while I am in an oversize red oxford shirt, jeans and an apron with my hair thrown into a sloppy ponytail has major kudos from me.

I did like his parents...

Sadly, our brief relationship only lasted as long as his New York Strip steak and Chateau St John cabernet. Once the bill was paid, we said our goodbyes.

"Thanks for coming! Have a good night!"

Yeah, my aloof-thing isn't working for me.

I want a man to pursue me. To see me or meet me and woo me. Show up, ask my number, send flowers - you know like it is in the movies?

Nothing less will do.

Okay, I've bored even myself now...