How do the gorgeous people do it?
I'm out of my league here.
I've commented recently on how I can't see a difference in the mirror with the 30 lbs I lost and it's true. On top of that I have "fat girl syndrome" - meaning I carry myself as though I still believe I am fat.
I still have 24 lbs to lose to be at what I consider my ideal weight, but I do know that I hide weight well. I'm curvy and well-proportioned and at my heaviest most people were shocked if I revealed my weight. They would easily guess me to be 30 lbs lighter than I was.
So, I guess the 30 lbs makes a difference. Because I'm getting attention and I don't know how to handle it. I told my sister I was going to get fat again so people would leave me alone.
Brad came into the restaurant (twice) - long story for later - and the host at the front pulled me aside and said "You can do better" (I was offended by this, Brad is VERY handsome). I pointed out that he was my ex and the host said he was going to 'fix me up'. I told him not to. He told me I was 'gorgeous' and that he WAS going to fix me up. Of course, then he also suggested I was 24 and not 34 so I can honestly say he's insane...
After work I went out with my sister and her friends for a bit. Once again, her friends would not leave me alone. I arrived and immediately settled into a video game for an hour or so and ignored everyone while I decompressed. One guy kept touching me and flirting with me and I rudely ignored him until he got the message and took a taxi home.
The other was very flirty and I enjoyed his company because he was very funny, but I was offended because he has a serious girlfriend who is out of town and she is also a friend of my sisters - one I happen to like.
When my shirt rode up in the back, men stopped to touch my tattoo (butterfly). When I adjusted my top, men fell over trying to catch a peak of a breast. When I glanced around men tried to make and hold eye contact.
I maintained my solo status well, but had fun. Still - I have to admit that the attention makes me uncomfortable.
For the record, and for my troll - I do not think I am beautiful. I am aware that men find me attractive but I do not think I am some sexy creature that every man wants. In fact, I am surprised by the attention I do get.
I have not gotten this sort of attention since I was a kid out of high school and to be honest, I have no idea how to deal with it. I find myself envying the gorgeous women who are so beautiful that they intimidate men because I am apparently approachable.
I don't know...what I do know is that I better learn because even in a stop at a 7-11 on the way home for a drink the clerk was hitting on me and my stammering and avoiding is not a deterrent.
More to post later including a long Brad post that crushed me last night and a shocking milestone I hit last night that prompted me to go drinking even though I did not earn my $100.
I have a million errands to run. Wish I had more time to spill...
1 comment:
I say enjoy your new (old) shape and focus on the advantages, not the disadvantages. I was "average" weight for many years then I stared working too much and exercising too little and got heavy. And although I didn't notice it at the time, my weight dictated everything from the clothes I wore to the recreational activities I did. It wasn't until I got back thin again that I realized what I had been missing.
You get attention because you don't seem to want it if that makes any sense. Women who don't mind being the center of attention are more intimidating. Generally, guys are more apprehensive about approaching the ring leader than they are the hangers on. For one, all eyes are upon them when they make their move. And, because you seem to have more options, there is a higher probability of rejection. Remember, guys can usually tell weather or not a woman is taken. We're not so good at detecting if an "available" woman is interested in male company.
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