So, this is 2007....

I'm back after a LONG drive, but the "Ex-Mobile" handled it well. I think that vehicle may be the only positive thing to come from my mistake. I was exhausted and starting to get a nasty cold as we made it home at 2 am and I am quite glad to be back.

My new second job as a waitress has called to set up "orientation" and I am excited about moving forward.

It looks like I found an apartment solution - I was worried about getting approved based on my credit and rental history (unverifiable) but my friend Tammy had a great solution and now the door is wide open. I just have to find the one I want and can afford and several of them appeal. I am anxious to have my own place.

It's a quiet day, a bit gloomy, but I am feeling good. I am rearranging furniture to fit better in our little room here. Cable should be coming soon!

It's a nice day emotionally speaking. I feel strong and calm and ready for the future. I am noticing that I feel MUCH better to be on my own and not be focusing on a relationship. I was terrified of this but I have to admit that it's incredibly refreshing!!! In fact, I do not WANT a relationship of ANY caliber for 2007. I want to stay focused on my goals.

I enjoy spending time with Taylor and my friends and family, I enjoyed traveling and I think I will enjoy working and getting my own place. It's liberating in a way! I feel like I am free from having to think about anyone else and it's really nice. It took time to let go of the habit of being a part of a pair, but now that I have made progress, I have to admit that I sort of like it...no one to "please" but myself. Time to do the things *I* want to do without any interferance...

I still love to daydream about my next apartment. How it will be decorated, what a quiet day there will feel like...

These are things that make me feel....hmmm, not sure what the word is. I don't want to say happy because I am not happy yet. But perhaps closer to happy?

Hopeful?

New topic time.

Dawn G....aka STBX is for some bizarre obsessive reason visiting this blog many, many times a day. I have requested here that she stop and her response was even MORE visits.

Now, I don't want to feel like I have to hesitate before I write anything. I don't particularly care if someone is out there laughing at my downfalls or grimacing at my good moments. I don't care if she is digging information on Jeff to use against him. I do know things that would send her into a meltdown but I'm not enabling her to do anything, hence, I do not post anything she would be interested in here. Nor will I. I think it's almost amusing, truth be told, to know the things she doesn't know.

I remember reading the blog of Rhonda (Brad's Texas whore) after their online affair in the same obsessive way. I was powerless not to read it. You know what I learned? Reading it bothered me even more than it bothered her. I hated the days she had "good" days and I felt sick when I read about things that related to my life. So - Dawn Gr.... read away! I'm momentarily content to let you drive yourself crazy. When that changes (and with my emotions lately it could swing at anytime) I'll post a long fat post about her, her school, her job, her past, her present and perhaps seeing THAT much personal information available online for the parents of her students to read will be enough to move her along. Really, Dawn Gre...., move on!!! I'm not that intriguing, am I?

New topic besides Dawn Gree...

I am lucky and happy to have Brad as my ex and the father of my child. He's not only my ex, he's actually my friend and we hang out, talk on the phone and enjoy a solid relationship. My child support is paid on time every time and if he's a little low on cash, he puts our arrangement ahead of any social life he might want to have, he is always happy to help me with Taylor if I need to do somthing else and we're a true team as parents.

New topic.

In light of my contentment being alone for now, I have cancelled all online dating services. I don't expect to have time for a relationship and when I am ready, I want to have certain things in place in my own life that distractions would make harder. Love's just going to have to wait. I have to admit, I don't believe in love at the moment so it's that much easier.

Hmm...dull day for posting. I suppose I could get back to work and arranging furniture. I could have skipped this entire dull post but I would hate to disappoint rabid (I mean avid) readers.

Tonight, Brad and I and Taylor are going out to dinner. He missed his weekend with her and money's a bit tight for him, so I offered to buy him a meal.

I have to add that there is no romance there. Everyone around me seems to be holding their breath and waiting/hoping that Brad and I will reunite but the truth is that the connection we once shared has changed into a genuine friendship. We talk about my next apartment and he promised to come over often so I can use him as an excuse to cook. He likes to cook too, so we promised to take turns. I want to rent a beach house in NC this summer and was hoping to bring friends along and he may be one of them. Separate rooms, but it would be nice to have him there.

We had a nasty split over a year ago and have been able to be true friends. I think some people should aspire to that.