The Big Game
It's SuperBowl Sunday and I'll be Tivo-ing the big game just for the commercials. I work, of course.
With the "big game" in my neck of the woods, it's been madness.
The local news recently printed a story about how all the out-of-town visitors from the Midwest that came for the game brought manners with them.
That may be true, but the cheap asses don't know how to tip.
I had a lovely night: pleasant tables, smooth sailing and happy customers who thanked me warmly and left cheap tips that almost never exceeded 15% and often fell below.
Servers earn about $3 per hour. The IRS automatically assumes we get 10% in tips and our company (and most) calculate our sales and deduct taxes for 10% of assumed earnings. In addition to listening to you ramble on about the menu and fetching your 37th refill of water with lemon we are busting our asses to also make sure you have clean plates and dishes and bread and so forth in the back where you don't see us.
We are on our feet for no less than 6 hours. We're dedicated to making you happy because we know you ultimately pay us.
When your iced tea takes an extra 2 minutes, it's not because we're playing grab-ass in the kitchen...it's very likely because there are no clean glasses yet and we're standing over the dishwasher screaming.
When your salad doesn't come racing to your table it's probably not because we're chatting on our cell phone, but may very well be because we went to make your damned salad and discovered that the container for the fat free ranch you had to have was empty and we had to go to the back refrigerator, dig out a new container and refill it before we brought your salad.
We don't cook. If your steak is undercooked it's equally distressing to us because we know you're annoyed and we couldn't do much about it unless you want us taste-testing your food before we bring it.
When you leave, we are on our hands and knees picking up the 300 Cheerios your cute, but obnoxious toddler gleefully tossed on the damned floor or the broken crayons your 5 year old had more fun breaking than coloring with.
When you sit there for 3 hours chatting, we're fidgeting because the table can't be 're-sat' and we're losing business.
When your cherub faced infant screams bloody murder for 30 minutes straight, you are not only annoying us, but often pissing off the people around you who take it out on our tips because they only remember a miserable dining experience.
And when you leave 15% or less, you are insulting us.
When you leave 20% we know we made you happy.
When you leave more, we remember you.
If it were not for ONE unexpected table last night, I would have made shit.
I had a table of 4. Two incredibly obese women in mumus and an overweight redneck looking man with a small chubby child.
I have to admit, I prejudged the table.
They ordered more food than I have ever seen anyone eat and specifically ordered the most unhealthy and fatty foods.
I gave them the same great service that I try to give everyone, but in the back of my mind I was thinking the worst. I was friendly and tried to make their meal an enjoyable one - but I actually do that to every table regardless.
They left me $35 on $85.
If they return, I will not only fight to serve them, but I will move heaven and earth to give them the red carpet treatment.
We do remember our customers. You'd be surprised.
We remember the friendly man who rips the bread up and creates small messy sculptures and drives us fucking insane and then leaves a GREAT tip on a tiny bill. $6 on $28 might be nice - but in a restaurant where the average dinner check is over $50 and the average tip is $10 - you really didn't do us a favor and we groaned when they sat you in our section. We know you are going to run our ass off for $6 while the man who pulled up in a Ferrarri with 12 of his closest friends is going to be sat in another section.
If you're cheap, stay home. If you're going to share a $20 steak between 2 people and drink water and spend less than $30 at dinner rush - eat at the bar.
You want the best service?
Here it is...
We tell you our names when we greet you. Remember it. If you like us, ask for us again next time. When they seat you in our section - greet us by name so we know you know us.
Don't be afraid to tell us exactly how you like something. We have a policy of making a dining experience special and we'll go over and above for you if you make it worth our while. We may not serve espresso, but there is a Dunkin Donuts a few shops away and if we remember you're a great tipper we will run over there and back to give you what you wanted.
Chat with us when you have the time. Whatever line of business you are in, we've probably met 400 people who might use your services and if we liked you, we'll suggest you.
Don't assume we're stupid. I deal with 800 of the wealthiest and most influential people in South Florida (Broward) every day. I may look like 'just a waitress' but if you are the owner of a new landscaping business or a realtor, I actually have the ability to triple your business by referrals.
Likewise, when you behave like an ass and then pay with a credit card - especially a company card - we remember that too.
We have customers who walk in the door and we will all greet them with a cheerful "Hi Mr. Johnson! How's the family?" We'll sit him ahead of other guests and have his favorite drink on the table the second he sits. We remember that he likes his steak a certain way and the cooks are already on the job.
Mr. Johnson knows he can look like a big shot to his friends when he comes to us.
Mr. Johnson tips over 20%.
Another customer raises dogs and loves to bring home big steak bones for them. We will actually scour the dining room for every guest eating a T-Bone and race to clear their plates to grab that bone. This customer leaves with a bag of meaty bones without having to ask...
This customer tips $20 just for the bones.
We also remember the customers who are bitchy, whiney, annoying or cheap. If you are a regular customer who gets ignored or treated like a stranger it's because we know you're worth 15% or less. We're not going to ignore the big tipper in the corner for you.
Moving on...
I'm in a decent mood. My sister and I went for a late dinner last night after work and just talked. I love her to pieces. :)
I'm off to spend some time with Taylor before work! :)
2 comments:
Damn, I've always tipped 15% for average service because that was the standard when I worked as a waitress. Now I feel cheap! I'll have to work on that!
“We don't cook. If your steak is undercooked it's equally distressing to us because we know you're annoyed and we couldn't do much about it unless you want us taste-testing your food before we bring it.”
MOST of the time, I will agree, it’s NOT the server’s fault, but SOMETIMES it truly CAN be. You *CAN* be to blame if you pressed the wrong button. IT CAN HAPPEN! If you press "well done" button, but you meant to press "medium", YES I CAN blame you, rightful so. If you also notice that it has only been 10 minutes since you put the order in, chances are, the steak will NOT be "well done." It's called writing down the time you put the order into the computer on your pad of paper to PREVENT a situation possibly. As a customer, I would think it would be VERY strange to see my steak come to me in only 10 minutes well done, even if the restaurant is not busy. So, the server should be able to at least think about things like that. Obviously, it hadn't been very long to get that steak only cooked medium. Well done ANYTHING take a LONG TIME to cook. Also, the server can *SEE* if the steak is black. I can understand you can't see between "medium well" and "well done", but if it's "medium", it more than likely, doesn't have much blackness to it. So WHY take that steak to the customer if it's OBVIOUS it's wrong? Like taking a medium rare steak to someone that ordered their steak well done. If you can see blood, chances are, it AIN'T WELL DONE. It's *COMMON SENSE* NOT to take that steak to the customer knowing you don't see ANY SIGN of black or if you see blood.
I agree in *MOST* situations, it's hard to tell, but NOT ALL situations. As I stated before, a server CAN input the order into the computer wrong, which makes the food be cooked wrong. You couldn't blame pressing a wrong button on the cook, now could you?
“We do remember our customers. You'd be surprised.”
Customers DO remember servers as well. The good ones and the bad ones.
“If you're going to share a $20 steak between 2 people and drink water and spend less than $30 at dinner rush - eat at the bar.”
This one pisses me off the MOST. HOW DARE YOU TELL PEOPLE “WHERE” TO EAT? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Sometimes, my husband and I just get drinks at a table. PEOPLE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SIT AT A TABLE WHETHER THEY SHARE SOMETHING OR NOT! WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY WHERE SOMEONE SITS? Until just THIS JANUARY, (the state I live in), had smoking areas in restaurants. So you mean to tell me I have to breathe that crap while I eat just a dessert or drink my drink. Sorry, but I care about my lungs not to be by it, nor do I want to sit and not be able to taste my food as well. Also, sitting at the bar does have it’s disadvantages at times. People like to chit-chat more at bars, meaning, sometimes some bartenders don’t give prompt service. I’d rather get prompt service than to wait for someone to chit-chat or take a shot with the bartender.
“Chat with us when you have the time.”
If it’s busy, NO, you DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO CHAT. Personally, that SLOWS EVERYONE’S SERVICE DOWN, including the person you are chatting with if they wanted to request something, but you decided to make small talk first. Also, MOST customers want to be LEFT ALONE. Think about a LOT of servers bring automatic refills. The reason for this is to have a “SILENT SERVICE.”
“Don't assume we're stupid.”
I ONLY assume that if I get a wrong entrée or a wrong side dish or missing condiments from the SAME SERVER that took my order. Like if you don’t notice my potato salad is baked beans, you have a problem. If you can’t make sure my food is correct as far as VISABLE OBVIOUS things are concerned, I DO feel those servers are SOMEWHAT STUPID.
“We'll sit him ahead of other guests”
Sorry, but that’s truly MORALLY WRONG OF YOU! HOW DARE YOU LET SOMEONE “CUT” IN FRONT OF SOMEONE ELSE! I TRULY HOPE SOMEONE CUTS IN FRONT OF YOU, YOU UNFAIR PREJUDICED BITCH!
“have his favorite drink on the table the second he sits.”
NOT EVERY CUSTOMER WANTS THEIR FAVORITE DRINK **EVERY** FREAKING TIME. I’ve gotten the SAME margarita the “Presidente’” at Chili’s a LOT of the time as my first drink. A few times though, I have ordered another margarita first like the “Blue Pacific.” You NEVER **ASSUME** what a customer wants. YOU ARE ORDERING FOR THEM. THAT’S NOT YOUR RIGHT TO DO THAT, UNLESS THEY GAVE YOU THEIR PERMISSION TO DO SO!
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