A Bitter Song

First of all....Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww

My body hurts like hell. My back is sore and swollen, my legs and thighs hurt and I am exhausted.

I figured out the following:

• I work 6 days a week
• At least 5 of them are 16 hour days
• When I am "off" I play single mother and do things with my daughter no matter how tired I am
• I average 4-5 hours sleep a night
• I eat the equivalent of 2 days worth of full meals per week

Owwwwwwww

Grey's Anatomy was great last night, but it set me off and got me crying. At one point, contemplating a "Jane Doe" patient, Dr. Addison asks if she disappeared, would anyone notice?

And I asked myself the same question.

Later, when Dr. Meredith Grey was lying "dead" in the OR the entire staff was surrounding her - teary eyed doctors working on her, the man who loved her crouched in the corridor crying, her friends standing outside the doors in tears...

I wondered...if it was me - if I was lying in a hospital OR dying...who would be there?

These weren't good thoughts. The answers were awful too. No one. No one would be there.

If I was on the verge of death, who would be there?

Depressing thoughts sent me to bed.

A Bitter Song by Butterfly Boucher

All I need is a bitter song
To make me...better
Much better
All I need to write is a bitter song
To make me better
Much better

It found me
To hold me
But I don't like it at all

Won't feed it
Won't grow it
It's folded in my stomach
It's not fair
I found love
It made me say that
Get Back

You'll never see day light
If I'm not strong it just might

All I need is a bitter song
To make me better
Much better

All I need to write is a bitter song
To make me better

I feel better
I feel better