Not Ready to Make Nice

Forgive? Sounds good. Forget? I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything -
But I'm still waiting...

Without going into too much detail, Jeff and I are engaged in an email war of words. It was astonishing to see how much he had twisted the facts - he accused me of everything from harassing him to controlling the weather.

Now, first of all - Jeff and I don't speak "live". I refuse. I told him not to call me and that any conversations we have must be in text. Second, I avoid seeing him at every turn. And third, I only contact him regarding issues that remain between us that we have to communicate on.

The beauty of it all is that I do not love Jeff. I once believed I always would and I can honestly say that I truly did love him...or at least who I thought he was. But that love is so far dead that it ould never be resurrected.

Still, I am not ready to be with anyone again.

I wish I were. I wish I had the desire to meet someone and feel an attraction or pursue something more but I just can't do it.

I realized that every man I ever got involved with was a friend first and I think that may be where my issues lie.

Moving on...

I'm going to tour 4 properties with my realtor this weekend and will hopefully pursue one of them to fruition. She's still wanting to make my move-in happen by Mid-March as opposed to April 1st and that would be heaven.

I really really need my own space.

I was off last night and Taylor and I had a great night together. I work tonight and every night through Sunday when I can finally take a break. I expect to be exhausted, but the money will go far. It should be a busy week with Valentine's Day tomorow.

Valentine's Day has so far not affected me. I am not dreading it or worrying about it. I am ambivalent to it. I am glad to be working to avoid focusing on it, but it's a non-issue. Paper hearts and candy do not impress me these days.

There's just not much else to report on these days...